things are heating up...

so i have this weird obsession with being first on your lists...i think i'm like 8th or so on Amy's list right now and that will just not stand.

we are officially on the wedding countdown...in 45 minutes it will be August...which means that 16 days from now...i will be wed.

its starting to hit me how different things will be in 16 days. i mean my life will change and never be how it was. this isn't just seasonal...meaning this time of my life won't come around again...it's just big CHANGE. it's will revolutionize, uproot, and rearrange my world. i'm pumped for it, but man, this is an undertaking. it is really easy to prioritize very insignificant things at this point. the other day i had to kick myself as i spent 2.5 hours looking for honeymoon attire. I mean, really? it's not like i'm going to be naked (and everyone laugh at the innuendo i'm NOT making)...meaning i have clothes to wear. but with realizing the intensity of this life transition, i think i will be more inclined to the more significant things. like understanding the complexity of the marriage covenant. being aware of how now, my sin and flesh affect another, since we are one. learning to encourage more than criticize. learning that as much as this man knows me, he can never really know me like the Father. learning that Tommy only knows as much as I tell him. digging into the Word and discovering that God's divine romance models perfectly how we are to treat one another. learning to extol and respect my man like the Shulamite maiden respects and honors Solomon in Song of Songs. relinquishing my rights again and again.

it's been such a revelation of grace though. on two points specifically:
1. We know each other well...past yucky stuff, present struggles, future dreams. Though he has seen my flesh for what it is...gross and raw and sinful...he loves me...and he is enabled to love me because of the Father's love. if he can love in spite of and through that stuff, HOW MUCH MORE does my ABBA love me?
2. I don't think I will ever feel "ready" to be a wife...I look back to the summer, or even past 7 months and say "man I wish I had prayed more on this...or read more on this...or studied more of this...or listened to God more on this..." And yes, maybe my performance could have been better in some places, but I will never be ready and perfect and perfectly well-read and well-prayed. But oh His grace, will help me through the places of weakness and imperfection. so I don't have to fear.

in other news, it is HOT. and i have an outside wedding. I have held out hope all summer, because it has been relatively mild. last week, it got HOT. nasty, mucky, texas HOT. I am now scared.

God...85 degrees...and a breeze. and maybe rainfall say 4 days previous?

goodnight!

new layout

what do you think? like the design update?

that's all really from this front...23 days till wedding...

feelings:

readiness, anticipation, zeal, peace, nervousness, excitement, givenness, oneness, thankfulness, closeness with the father, solemnity, self-awareness, busyness...

i'm sure there are more...that's all for now.

love!

a smattering in seven minutes

i only have 7 minutes to make this post but as i am doing blog update catch-up i notice my name falling lower and lower on your list of recently updated friends and i'm just not ok with that.

so this weekend, shower in dallas, and my bridal portraits!

the shower was fun, it was themed "the times of our lives" and the guests were instructed to bring gifts that corresponded with a certain time on their invitation. this worked out all right until my lovely lovely mother made one of her friends who had a middle of the night time get me a pretty little nightie...

now most you know that i'm not modest...around YOU. but put me in a room around a whole gaggle of adults most of which are more friends of my parents or family, and INCLUDING the mother of my ex-boyfriend (who we are family friends with, so it isn't really that weird that she was there) and the mother of my FIANCE...well.........MODESTY! I was slighly embarrassed and flustered by that and wanted to quickly move on to the next gift but my lovely sister made me lift the thing up and shake it around. GAG.

Bridals were fun though, we were out in a park in Rockwall, very rustic looking. at one point i had 2 grasshoppers going for a ride in my skirts. and i had to stand perfectly posed and still as my feet were being attacked by ants. but it was worth it for the shots we got i think.

last note, as i only have 2 minutes....i think i'm going to call my wedding the wedding of contradictions. that's the best way i think i'm starting to think of it. modern, yet vintage inspired. simple, yet structured. organic, yet constructed. traditional, yet unique. young, yet mature. think on that....

later!

you can take the dog out of the city...

what a weekend.

to finish the title of this blog, you can take the dog out of the city, but apparently, cannot take the city out of the dog.

an impromptu trip to Arkansas happened this weekend, after a call from the jeweler that said he needed to see my ring ONE more time to finish my wedding band. it was either take the trip or send my ring over UPS which neither tommy nor I were very keen on. (we are getting my band custom-made because my ring is quite difficult to match) so off we go to the ranch (tommy's house) with a car full of Judge (the puppy), Dez (who I was so grateful to spend time with), and Leslie (my current roommate). let me just say, 3 girls and a dog for 5+ hours in a car is alot for a man to handle. in retrospect, i feel bad for the guy. i mean, he had to keep us from listening to camp rock soundtrack at least 5 times.

anyways, so we THOUGHT judge would love the ranch...rolling in grass and mud, running through the field, chasing bunnies, scaring cows...

not a chance. oh for the first couple of hours, he had a grand old time, he rolled all in the straw, splashed in the creek, ate some algae...but then the family went inside. Judge spent the whole rest of the trip jumping the porch gate (getting spanked and shooed back out afterwards), jumping the porch gate again, smashing the flowerbeds trying to jump the porch gate. then it started raining, actually storming. so they have a fenced in area where they kennel the dogs and it has a little dog house in it. we put him there during the storm figuring he would be smart enough to go inside the dog house. apparently, his idea is to get on TOP of the dog house. eventually, he escaped somehow. we were all in the dining room playing dominos and we see some big ears peeking at us through the kitchen window. he ended up spending the night on the porch, where he destroyed some flowers and left a nice pile of poopy. he wanted NOTHING to do with the other dogs or the ranch. we were one hour from leaving when he decided he would try to steal the yellow lab's food...let me just say he LOST that fight, and he now has a nice gash under his eye that will probably need a stitch or two.

to make up for his traumatic weekend, we took him to the vet today to get neutered.

oh judgie...

planning...

Hello again!

So our wedding invitations are coming VERY close to completion. This has been quite an involved process. Let me run down a list of steps, somewhat vaguely so as not to ruin the surprise of opening up your bulky envelope from Moi.

1. cut x 2 different aspects
2. tape
3. label
4. stamp
5. punch x 2
6. measure and cut
7. tie
8. stuff x 3
9. print
10. stamp
11. stuff-final

and multiply it all by 300

thank you to the following: Jenn (sister), Mom, Dad (and his pocketbook), Greg (bro-in-law), Leslie, Dez, A-whit, Elizabeth, and Judge (our puppy who affectionately found a few parts to chew on)

Here is a preview of coming attractions.

In other news...dress fitting tomorrow!! my first one! i will NOT be posting pictures of it. ha.

now i'm just a wacoan...

Wacoan. Correctly pronounced wuh-co-uhn. with slight Texas drawl. I'm one now. Yesterday Ashley W. and I were talking about how now since we graduated we are just people who live in Waco. I am a local Wacoan. I live in Waco. My existence here is now by choice because I am not forced by my school's location. I'm not ashamed, but it's a little weird.

I have been back in Waco, post-graduation and post-moving for a week. The biggest excitement so far was on Thursday during my run. 3 minutes into it, I must have been really into the song on my IPod or something because all of a sudden, I was running and then I was sinking. I ran into a sidewalk of WET CEMENT. not even joking. I'm talking like ankle deep. So I kinda stood there, mainly because what else do you do when you are ankle-deep in wet cement, but then the nice worker-men helped me get out and washed off my feet and shoes. Don't you worry, the shoes are fine, I know you were worried, because that was my chief concern at the time as well. Then we laughed it on and I squished away in my wet shoes. I continued the run because it was either walk home in wet shoes or at least get a decent run in wet shoes. It was pretty miserable and I think I took half of the orange dust from the bear trail with me. So I ended up throwing my beloved Aasics in the washer afterwards. So watch where you step. Ha!

I've been thinking about the word relentless. Without relenting. A circumstance that does not relent, take it easy, let go, stop, or ease up. The other day something happened that made me feel it..."man, this thing is just relentless...it never ends!" It is so easy to feel it...to feel overwhelmed by the things that just don't stop. The circumstances that hit you again and again and again...without relenting. This made me think about the character of God...relenting in mercy...but unrelenting in love. [Jonah 4:2] "He prayed to the Lord, 'O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who RELENTS from sending calamity." [Psalm 106:45] "for their sake He remembered his covenant and out of his great love He RELENTED." For out of great love for us, He keeps us from true destruction and calamity. He never ceases in love, never ends in mercy. This made me think that as overwhelmed and burdened as I am by things that seem relentless in my life, the TRUE unrelenting thing is how He carries us. His love, mercy, grace, comfort, kindess--are relentless. And that heavy feeling of "man, these bad circumstances to me are relentless!" should birth in us an equal response towards feeling the heaviness of the kindness in which He loves us as His children, relentlessly. Would it be that our response to it be "man, the way He loves and cares for me, it's relentless!" Hope that encourages and speaks to someone...

love,

your faithful Wacoan :)

this blog is going to be really classy. this is for you, amy.