Grief

I feel like I'm going through a grieving process. For me, the biggest difficulty with this new nutrition program is that I still am not 100% committed to wanting a change. And it is not like I'm casually choosing to eat "healthy".

This is CHANGING. MY. LIFE.
Forever.

Part of me knows the benefits of eating clean FAR outweigh anything gained from a "regular" diet. THAT part wants to get to the place where I don't want to put junk in my body and craves proper fuel.

But there is still the part of me that doesn't want to lose "good" food. See, one of the effects of removing the bad stuff from your diet is that you lose your taste for it, you can't handle the effects of it and no longer want it. Which is great. Except right now, I still want to want pizza. Hamburgers. Cookies. PASTA.

And so here I am resenting the decisions I am making daily because I know they will essientially kill my desire for the foods I am not eating. We have a faculty meeting once a month. If your birthday is in that month, you get a cookie from Paradise Bakery at the end of the meeting. Today, I had to pass up my once a year opportunity for my cookie. That made me sad.

I have some decisions to make people, some questions to ask myself.

Do I really want to change? I tell myself I want optimum health, optimum physical ability, optimum energy and quality of life. Do I want it bad enough to stick it out and change for good? Do I have the strength for it? Do I have the strength to DAILY choose to ignore the foods I once loved? Do I have the strength to go to a holiday party or a wedding and push around the potatoes on my plate, or let that delectable little hor'dourve pass me by, or turn down that piece of cake? Do I WANT to have that strength?

This is just a little honest glimpse of where I am right now. Haven't cheated yet. I haven't found anything worth it.

Day 4

Well, I didn't have a chance to make a post yesterday so here is a little catch-up.

Day 4 (Thursday)

I ate:
2 hardboiled egg whites, banana
almonds
shrimp
guacamole
mixed veggies (from night before)
apple
dinner last night?
Yup, Mi Cocina. Sans chips, tortillas, rice and beans. We both got the 50-50 fajitas and we have found that Mi Cocina will sub sauteed veggies in lieu of rice and beans. The pico and guac they serve on the side is just fine as well. It was yummy and I ate my ENTIRE meal, which is not something I normally do with a fajita dinner.

Then I made dessert: Cinnamon apples.

Saute sliced and cored apples in some coconut oil till soft and starting to brown. Add preferred amount of cinnamon and nutmeg (the recipe I was using said to use apple pie spice but I don't have that at home) and saute for a couple more minutes. Serve up nice a warm.

We added a little splash of unsweetened coconut milk in ours and it made a nice little juice at the bottom of the bowl.

Energy? My workout was stellar. Got up at the right time, killed the workout, used a heavier weight than I have before. Hubs and I are both finding that we don't get that early afternoon downer that you usually get sometime after lunch. And I'm in a great mood when I get home from work.

Hunger? Yup, it was the grains...didn't feel like a starving child waiting until lunch this time since I had the eggs. There was cake in the teacher workroom...but I resisited. I told myself that if I cheat on this diet it wouldn't be for a sheet cake from Kroger.

Day 3

I wanted cheese.


But I ate:
plain oats, coconut milk
banana
cocktail shrimp
cucumbers (prepped with oil and vinegar)
guac from dinner yesterday
iced tea
a LOT of raspberries
cinnamon flank steak with mixed veggies (forgot to take pics...but it wasn't too complex...just a some cinnamon and ginger sprinkled over the steak)

Energy? Slept GREAT. No workout this morning. But energy has been up up up all day.


Hunger? I got REALLY hungry for lunch. That's when I started wanting cheese. It is likely that I am getting so hungry for lunch due to the insulin-spiking grains in the morning. Gotta work on that.

Still wasn't too hard on Wednesday. Feeling really good.

Day 2

I ate:

plain oatmeal with unsweetened coconut milk- tasted bland but only because my body is conditioned to want a sugar taste. I bet in a few days it will taste better.
almonds
pork, parsnip, and pepper leftovers
cucumbers w/ a touch of olive oil and vinegar and salt
pear
unsweet tea (I almost caved and went for the diet coke when I started getting a headache and sluggish...but I went for a big glass of tea)
dinner: Mexi-salad with fresh guacamole
(ingredients- ground beef, diced tomatoes, a bunch of spices, organic salsa, romaine lettuce, peppers, avocados, lime, cilantro, garlic)
orange

Energy? veeerry tired this morning. it was hard to get going with the morning workout. this is normal I believe, because my body is craving (addicted to!) the insulin-shock-response. as I stated above, almost caved and got a diet coke. Energy went UP as the day went on! Didn't feel drained at the end of the day like I normally do.

Hunger? I wasn't abnormally hungry. I got hungry for lunch but full after I ate. Same for dinner.

Mexi-salad was really good, the beef mixture was FABULOUS. The secret ingredient is....CINNAMON!! I forgot to take a pic but here is our aftermath...

Link to recipe here. Very tasty and very filling.

Rather than post some boring nutritional info, I thought I would share a quote from the blog of this gal in Austin who has practiced this diet and has some killer recipes to share as well.

"It's not that I have an immense amount of willpower or that I like keeping myself on a short leash. It's because I really like who I am and how I feel when I eat properly. I think I'm more patient, calmer, more optimistic, and more confident. I like when my stomach isn't bloated and when my thinking is clear. And, if I'm totally honest, I also really dig feeling smug when I snarf big piles of protein, veggies, and coconut oil."

Can't wait to get there!

Day 1

This was Monday, Day 1 of the Whole 20-something.

I ate:

oatmeal - since I just can't give myself anymore time in the morning to add in cooking and really don't like eggs by themselves anyway, this is the ONE allowance I am giving myself. And hopefully, I can do it every other day, alternating with a boiled egg and some fruit.

some almonds

leftover turkey (breast meat) and green beans (not the best but we hadn't done our shopping yet)

apple

pork, parsnips, and peppers for dinner.

red tea (for dessert?) unsweetened.

This dish was amazing! I don't love peppers but they really flavored the other things in it nicely.

Basically, chop up boneless parsnips, boneless pork chops, peppers and grape tomatoes. Heat up some EVOO and add the ingredients in the order listed above, saving the tomatoes for the last 5 minutes. Season with garlic powder, sea salt, ground black pepper, red pepper flakes (go easy!) and a light dusting of italian seasoning and cook about 15 minutes. BAM! Put it on a plate and fuel up.

Parsnips are interesting. They look like white carrots. When you peel them they smell like really ripe, fresh carrots. When you cook them, they taste and have the texture similar to a potato. I liked them!!

I felt:

Morning workout was sluggish but I ate like crap on Sunday. Energy throughout the day. Didn't even feel tired until I got into bed.

Whole30...or eating like a cavewoman.

Well, considering I probably have about -10 followers out there now due to my (or lack of) blogging habits, I'll go ahead and get crazy.

Hubs and I are going on a diet. Really, everyone has a DIET. It is just that the DIET varies from person to person.

Reasons:
1. HEALTH
2. energy
3. athletic performance
4. aesthetics
5. digestive health
6. emotional health
7. physiological health

The Diet: the Whole30...or in our case Whole20-something because we are doing this till Christmas break.

I could post a lengthy explanation, or I could give you the website because those of you who actually care would probably rather see it at the source.

But basically, we are these people with a stove.

And WAY less hair.

And body odor.

And more clothing.

And we smile.

But the gist is this:

Certain food groups (such as grains, legumes, and dairy) have a negative effect on your overall health. Eliminating these inflammatory, insulin-spiking, calorie-dense but nutritionally sparse food groups for a while will help your body heal and recover from whatever effects these foods may be provoking.

We are eating REAL food-meat, fish, eggs, tons of vegetables, some fruit, and plenty of good fats. Foods with very few ingredients, all pronounceable ingredients, or better yet, no ingredients listed at all because they’re natural and unprocessed. No sugar or sugar subs, alcohol, grains, legumes, dairy, or white potatoes.

No weighing food or portioning it out...we will eat when we are hungry but only these things.

If you question the benefits or reasoning go to the site. Please don't tell me that whole grains are good for you (I have seen the little pyramid the government has created for us). Yes, they have benefits. But there are negative effects as well and the good things they have can be found in other foods and food combinations. Or just ask me your questions! I'll be happy to answer the best I can.

Until then, I MIGHT use this blog as a daily food tracker or post yummy recipes or little informative nutritional tidbit.

or a rant about how much I want ice cream.

cake.

french fries.

diet coke.

OH....DIET COKE!!!!!!!

I'm in mourning.

Meet me!! Please meet me!!

Well it is meet the teacher night at work...since I have a very small number of kids (most of whose parents I communicate with on at LEAST a weekly basis), not many parents are dropping by. I did as much work as I could possibly make myself, I am stalled on one task b/c I need a question answered but every other person in the building has parents to talk to!

Meet the teacher didn't start until 6 which meant I had quite a bit of time to burn up here at school. I watched an episode of Glee on Hulu while I was working on things...I am so pumped for the season premiere TOMORROW!!! yipee!!!

oh Grrrr...just tried to load pics...stupid thing isn't letting me.

It was going to be funny, I was going to say I was excited about the Modern Family premeire as well. I was going to say "guess who Tommy's favorite character is?"

--Insert sexy pic of Gloria--

And I was going to say "guess who my favorite character is?"

--Insert ridiculous pic of Manny in a tux or equally old-mannish attire--

hahaha!

Actually, Tommy's favorite character is Phil. I think he relates to him. Ergh, does that mean that I'm like Claire?

Don't answer, that's rhetorical.

We had a nice weekend. Friday was GrapeFest year 2 with the Allen's. We decided it is now a tradition. Our kids are going to have a sleepover at some sucker-of-a-grandparent's home for GrapeFest year 342380.

Saturday I slept in, read The Glass Castle in my PJs, made Migas, layed out with gals from lifegroup (Bonnie and Caity), ate lunch with same gals, went shopping w/ mom and grandma.

Made grandma buy some stylish blouses. (why do old people call shirts, blouses?)

Bought the neph (nephew) some awesome converse-ish shoes from B-Gap (why I didn't just write nephew in the first place, I don't know) and a hip argyle sweater. To go with the Converse. I love preppy punked out. Especially on an infant.

Went home Saturday night...Tommy and I watched the most depressing movie of all time, "Solitary Man" with Michael Douglas. He was in it, we didn't watch it with him. To clarify.

Sunday, helped Jen and Greg (sis and bro-in-law) move some things to storage. Have I mentioned they are moving to Houston? No bueno. But bueno for their lives. As in jobs. Then we ate indian food and life was good. Austin loved his shoes.

Well, I better go stand in the hall JUST IN CASE a parent of mine is wandering around like a lost puppy.

Goodnight!!!

...the captain, couldn't keep his eyes off you...

The Sound of Music is randomly on tonight and I about went nuts over the Baroness schraeder's gown at the party where the Von Trapp kids sing "So Long, Farewell."

I mean, look at this gown, it is so flawless!!

And the perfect blonde "do"...the gloves...the handsome Austrian naval captain...wait, what? I mean, it's just an awesome look.

thinking of a title for this post makes me sleepy.

i am so tired.

this has been a whirlwind week. i had new teacher training all day every day, along with a variety of external factors that made for an especially exhausting agenda. these include but aren't limited to: tommy being crazy busy at work with a project that required them to go through 75,000 files (note-this is not an exaggeration...its the actual number); getting coffee spilled on my Michael Kors handbag; figuring out how and where to get said handbag cleaned; parent conference; trying to fight off a sinus infection with my bare hands...or bare mucosal linings...; unpacking from our little trip to Arkansas and trying to catch up on laundry; grocery shopping; a little roomate reunion (this was a welcomed distraction though!); and i don't know what else.

needless to say, i'm officially in veg-mode for the evening. that included watching this 20 minute video featuring Tavi Gevinson, Style Rookie. i have blogged about her previously. i could send you to a link of that blog but that would require effort. here is the link to the video though. cuz i just had to used my ctrl C command. hahaha. http://www.ideacityonline.com/video/tavi-gevinson

and just so we don't have a pictureless post...my little monkey nephew!

i wish...

i wish...
that i had more stuff to blog about. i wish...i could fly

i wish...that i had my own distinct style.

i wish...i took more pictures.

i wish...i had a sno-cone.

i wish...summer wasn't gone...BUT

i wish it weren't so hot.

i wish...i had a genie that granted wishes.

deadly thumb

Hope you people like the new look. I got bored of that stinky old header.

I have a confession to make:

I am a plant killer.

There is seriously something wrong with me. I got a few (easy...or so they say) plants to put on our patio this spring. I have killed them. Petunias, people, PETUNIAS. These are those multi-colored babies that they plant outside of gas stations b/c they are so easy to keep up. I have killed my purple petunias. I had a lovely little mint plant--gone. The begonia plant is actually still alive--but it has yet to produce any blooms.

I watered, added dirt, placed in sunlight...nothing. I asked multiple flower-savvy people for tips and then implemented those tips...nothing. Only death.

So I think all my plants are going to have to be fake from now on. Until I can afford a professional gardener.

It stinks, b/c I love plants and fresh flowers. I have this fantasy that I will have gardenia and hydrangea growing in my front yard one day, underneath a magnolia tree. *Sigh* guess it will remain a fantasy. B/c I can't even handle PETUNIAS.

a smattering...

Well, it's finally here. TOMORROW is the last day of school. Yipeeee!

I am SO excited for this summer. Last summer was ok, but I wasn't getting paid and Tommy and I didn't have many friends that lived here (yet--Alli and Corey and Ash were our faithfuls...and Amy when she was here briefly...ok mostly Tommy didn't have many friends here). But it was SO boring for me...he worked all day and I...did nothing...and we didn't even have a church family so we felt a little isolated.

THIS summer, we have more friends, live in a better location, I will be getting paid, and I have gads of projects/plans that will keep me busy. Some work related, some not. It is going to be really great!!

We got a sweet little taste of summer over Memorial Day weekend.

Friday evening I don't remember what we did, I think we just kind of hung out.

Saturday, we slept in a little, took my grandparents to my Mom's concert in the afternoon, then hung out with our friends Eric and Kylie from our small group. We went to dinner at Cheesecake Factory in Allen, listened to live music on blankets with children laughing and playing tag around us, and then got gelato from Paciugo.

Sunday was church, breakfast, a good sweaty workout, then lounging by the pool for a few hours. Our apartment's pool is great, with comfy lounge chairs and even cushioned beds in little cabanas if you want some shade.
Monday, we slept in again, hit up our fav grocery store, Market Street, and got lots of goodies for the week. Then, Eric and Kylie and Jake and Bonnie (all from our small group) came over and we grilled and hung out by the pool. We had burgers with all the fixin's, sausage, grilled zuchinni and pineapple, chips and salsa, and our boys had plenty of Heineken to keep them happy. All in all, a great day, and a lovely weekend.

hooray!!

only. 9. more. days.
that's me in the front, the little chola with the beanie and pigtails.
(chola=latina gangsta)

b-t-dub, a career in education is probably one of the best decisions of my life. at least in the top 5, along with going to Baylor and marrying Tommy.

and summer vaca is probably in the top 3 reasons why it was a good decision.

what should we do?

The Hubs and I are in a bit of a workout rut. We have been doing Crossfit, of course, but are feeling a bit burnt out on the gym.

I really really miss running. And while I like what being stronger is doing to my body, I really felt I looked the leanest when I was running. We are doing 3ish mile runs every now and then, but I miss those 5 or 6 mile early runs when it is quiet, the air is crisp and your mind is clear.

And Tommy has never really run. Like he has never trained for a race or anything. And the weather is so much nicer now. All that to say...we might do this:

It seems a bit crazy, a half marathon in August. Oh well. If we want to keep going, it is a good set-up for a fall marathon.

If we do this, strength training will still remain VERY high on priority list. And not 5 lb bicep curls on a bosu ball. Good, strength-building training. B/c I like having muscles :)

In other news, just look at this guy...

He is getting bigger! He is so cute! I really love my little nephew.

lil' update

I can officially say it:

I have a teaching job next year!! This has been in the works for a while but it is finally official.

I will be the teacher in the SBS classroom in the Special Education Department at Frisco High School. SBS=Specialized Behavior Support. The kids our classroom will serve have a diagnosis of ED (Emotional disability). (you learn very quickly that there are alot of acronyms in education)

This is the classroom I am working in now so I get to have my same kids which makes me feel pretty confident since I'm aware of how the classroom needs to run and I have a relationship with the kids. Our kids are part of the general education population and have a schedule of classes, but can come to our classroom as needed for academic or emotional support. They are bright kids who just lack social/behavior/emotional skills that are needed for individual success in school. I won't teach a "subject" persay, but we'll be teaching social and behavior skills, implementing plans to improve behaviors or academic struggles, and sometimes just be a safe place for them to come.

Lots of feelings...

-EXCITED to make the classroom my own and implement new ideas and plans

-MOTIVATED to learn as much as I can to be a good teacher

-NERVOUS to be in charge...I have such an awesome relationship w/ the teacher now and love working w/ her...we are a good team and I'll miss her input and deferring to her for final decisions.

-DREADING the paperwork

-WORRIED that the kids will be upset about the teacher leaving

-CONFIDENT that the kids and I have great relationships

-BURDENED to see these kids succeed

-ANTICIPATING the reward of seeing their success (the increase in salary isn't so shabby either)

Anyway...happy Cinco!

nobody puts baby in the corner

i feel like i've been in timeout all week.

i was assigned as a restroom monitor for TAKS week. this means, for four hours, i sit in front of the restroom and listen to adolescents go pee-pee. not really, i'm making sure they go in one at a time, aren't using their cell phones, aren't talking to one another, etc.

the only thing is that MY restroom is in kind of a remote area of the building so i don't have very many visitors. also, my restroom was the one where a couple of kids were found doing the dirty so there is some sort of unspoken quarentine for that restroom. so my day is long.

throughout my pee-pee escapades, i've gotten quite a bit of reading done. i'm near the end of this book.
have any of you read it? what are your thoughts?

what i think so far:
--beautifully written
--i like that the author emphasizes relationship (with God) over religion
--i like that the author provides a framework through which to understand how tragedy and suffering exists in our world. (i am NOT saying i believe the book contains the ultimate Truth on the matter)
--it is a little dangerous to those who read it both as fiction and as non-fiction (as a theological text)...it would be easy let your view of God be shaped by Mack's personal experience...i think it is important to read it with the knowledge that it is fully fictitious, with themes based on the author's understanding of the Truth. which can STILL totally transform your life.

i want to hear your opinions!

things I'm loving

well, i don't think all of you blogstalkers posted like i asked, but for the ones that did, i applaud and exalt you, and will make sure you are on my little list to the right.

if you decide you want to come clean and reveal yourself, my offer still stands.

anyway, I decided to do a "Things I'm loving" post like so many of you out there:

1. Coconut milk

Ladies and Gents, if you don't use coconut milk, get up off your booty and go get a can (or carton--original only, vanilla flavor is nasty). First of all, it's non-dairy so a little less toxic for your digestive system...secondly, DELISH!! I use it for my oatmeal in the morning instead of water or cow milk. Also great in curries, smoothies, and other sauces. Half of the medium-chain fatty acids in coconut milk are composed of lauric acid, which is anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-microbial and anti-fungal. Coconut milk can help boost the immune system and fight off illness and disease.

2. Spaghetti Squash

We have been on a spaghetti squash kick. So far, I've made it with pesto and chicken and a tomato meat sauce. Both were awesome. Benefits: it is a low-glycemic food (some might say low-carb, but it does have carbs...the sugar from the carbs is just on the low end) and squash has a ton of good vitamins and minerals. It's pretty easy to make, too.

3. Rowing

OMG, I never really used this machine before we started doing crossfit, but now I'm hooked! It provides an excellent endurance workout. Disclaimer here: form is everything...without good form on this machine, the benefits of using it are nil. The little pictures and instructions posted on it are a pretty good description of proper form. But with good form, you will have a wonderful, full body workout.

4. Mambo Taxi from Mi Cocina

Frozen margarita. Sangria. Together. Enough said.

5. Rompers

I think these little things are too cute! I really want to get one (or two...or seven...) for the summer.

That's it folks, hope you enjoyed this edition of "Things I'm loving"

i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours

BS

NO, I'm not talking about that word with bull in it.

Blog-Stalking.

That's right, I said it.

Definition: consisitenly viewing people's blogs who you don't know or who don't know you follow their blog. even if they know you (or know of you) and you view their blog without their knowing, that is blog-stalking. basically, if you aren't mutual "followers," it's blog-stalking.

You know you do it. You know you don't subscribe or follow or comment for fear that the blogger would find you creepy or weird.

I blog-stalk a LOT. And I'm not going to divulge my favorites to stalk for above said reason. (don't want to seem creepy or weird)

Anyway, I would like to conduct a social experiment of sorts. Or maybe I'm comment-hungry. Who knows.

BUT, if YOU blog-stalk ME, I would like to know. I implore you, stalkers, LEAVE A COMMENT. I do it so much, I'm dying to know who stalks me. I promise, I won't think you are creepy or weird. In fact, I will be flattered. If I know you, if I don't know you, I don't care, LEAVE ME A COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if you reveal yourself, I will become a follower and devoted blog-fan. In fact, maybe we blog-stalk each other and don't know it! We are destined to meet!

Also, if I don't receive comments, I might develop a severe inferiority complex and fall into a deep seated depression, resulting in a loss of job, friends and happiness.

Summon your eagle powers.

Sometimes, it is more healing to make a pallet and watch a stupid movie than to have intimate conversations.

This has been a rough week for the Byrd family.

First off, I would like to have words with April 15. I would like to tell it to hurry up and get here because it is stressing my husband out. Poor Tommy has worked SO HARD this week. It is just the nature of tax accounting and it will be over soon, but it has been quite a doozy for him. This is probably the roughest week he has had yet.

Secondly, my sister ended up having an infection and had to go back into the hospital for surgery. SHE HAD A BABY 4 WEEKS AGO. Things happened pretty much like this:

Saturday: her c-section incision started to get a little inflamed and tender.
Sunday: Still inflamed, she called the Dr, and they said to come in on Monday as long as she didn't have a fever
Monday: Went to the Dr, definitely infected, started penicillin
Tuesday: Hi infection, glad you decided to RUPTURE. Blood everywhere.
Tuesday night: Oh hi surgery, guess we have to open Jenn back up to get the infection out.
Wednesday: Wound vacuum attached to Jenn's OPEN WOUND. CAT scan. Oh hi, STAPH. And goodbye Austin, Jenn can't hold or touch you.
Thursday night: finally found out it's not MRSA strain of staph (the deadly one) so Jenn can hold the baby again.

She is in the hospital till Monday. She has to wear the wound vacuum for a MONTH. This is basically a tube coming from sponges that are inside the open wound, sucking out all the nasty STAPH-y blood and pus.

Friends and family took shifts staying with Jenn and the babe during the days and my parents took him home at night. Last night, her husband stayed the night at the hospital with her and the baby.

There is ALOT ahead of them, so please keep them in your prayers.

So as you can see, it was quite a week. Between work and the hospital and my night class, Tommy and I hadn't seen much of each other and were pretty on edge. So we cuddled up and watched Nacho. It was good. :)

austin.

Can't believe i haven't blogged about this little monkey.

Meet Austin Trevino Scogin, my sweet little nephew. (loving the wrinkles...) It has been so fun being an aunt! and I am so blessed that I am close enough in proximity to help out my sis. This week (my spring break) I got to hang out with them a whole bunch.

As you can see, he is a really cool little dude.

He can be really really sweet....

And really really cranky....

But he and mom are doing great. My sis is such a good mommy!

Private Lives

The new episode of House last night was intriguing. It was about an ultra-blogger who gets sick and asks followers for medical advice. She is super transparent on her blog, literally documenting every detail of her life...except one, which ends up being the answer to her diagnosis of course. The shows touches on the idea of "private life" as a modern invention and the new concept of "community" with the new global network.

You can watch it online if you would like. All those bloggers out there would relate. www.fox.com

The Case for FAT

I have linked some interesting articles below.

if you are at all interested in health/nutrition, I recommend reading these articles in entirety, though parts are very science-y and boring.

basically...Americans are killing themselves. not with fat but with FAKE fat.

some nuggets to chew on:

from here
The following nutrient-rich traditional fats have nourished healthy population groups for thousands of years:

For Cooking
Butter
Tallow and suet from beef and lamb
Lard from pigs
Chicken, goose and duck fat
Coconut, palm and palm kernel oils

For Salads
Extra virgin olive oil (also OK for cooking)
Expeller-expressed sesame and peanut oils
Expeller-expressed flax oil (in small amounts)

For Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Fish liver oils such as cod liver oil (preferable to fish oils, which do not provide fat-soluble vitamins, can cause an overdose of unsaturated fatty acids and usually come from farmed fish.)

The following newfangled fats can cause cancer, heart disease, immune system dysfunction, sterility, learning disabilities, growth problems and osteoporosis:

All hydrogenated and partially hydrogenated oils
Industrially processed liquid oils such as soy, corn, safflower, cottonseed and canola
Fats and oils (especially vegetable oils) heated to very high temperatures in processing and frying.

Saturated fats, such as butter, meat fats, coconut oil and palm oil, tend to be solid at room temperature. According to conventional nutritional dogma, these traditional fats are to blame for most of our modern diseases--heart disease, cancer, obesity, diabetes, malfunction of cell membranes and even nervous disorders like multiple sclerosis. However, many scientific studies indicate that it is processed liquid vegetable oil--which is laden with free radicals formed during processing--and artificially hardened vegetable oil--called trans fat--that are the culprits in these modern conditions, not natural saturated fats.

Humans need saturated fats because we are warm blooded. Our bodies do not function at room temperature, but at a tropical temperature. Saturated fats provide the appropriate stiffness and structure to our cell membranes and tissues. When we consume a lot of liquid unsaturated oils, our cell membranes do not have structural integrity to function properly, they become too "floppy," and when we consume a lot of trans fat, which is not as soft as saturated fats at body temperature, our cell membranes become too "stiff."

and from here
Vegetable oils are more toxic when heated. One study reported that polyunsaturates turn to varnish in the intestines. A study by a plastic surgeon found that women who consumed mostly vegetable oils had far more wrinkles than those who used traditional animal fats.

The hydrogenation process was used on both cottonseed oil and lard to give "better physical properties"—to create shortenings that did not melt as easily on hot days. (Do we really want our food altered merely for convenience?)

Although trans fatty acids are technically unsaturated, they are configured in such a way that the benefits of unsaturation are lost.

The particular mix of fatty acids in soy oil results in shortenings containing about 40% trans fats, an increase of about 5% over cottonseed oil, and 15% over corn oil. Canola oil, processed from a hybrid form of rape seed, is particularly rich in fatty acids containing three double bonds and the shortening can contain as much as 50% trans fats.

Foods containing trans fat sell because the American public is afraid of the alternative—saturated fats found in tallow, lard, butter, palm and coconut oil, fats traditionally used for frying and baking. Yet the scientific literature delineates a number of vital roles for dietary saturated fats—they enhance the immune system, are necessary for healthy bones,provide energy and structural integrity to the cells, protect the liver and enhance the body's use of essential fatty acids. Stearic acid, found in beef tallow and butter, has cholesterol lowering properties and is a preferred food for the heart. As saturated fats are stable, they do not become rancid easily, do not call upon the body's reserves of antioxidants, do not initiate cancer, do not irritate the artery walls.

Disclaimer: Don't go out and eat a stick of butter. There are still appropriate percentages of fat which you should consume. This details what kind. And that you should be consuming fats.

I will stand on my little soapbox about wheat. Too many diets target FAT as the culprit of weight problems. Know this: while you may lose weight on a low-fat diet, you probably are losing important muscle mass as well. Those high-glycemic foods like white breads, rice, pasta, potatoes, corn, etc do much worse things for your body...they cause malabsorption in your intestinal tract , cause insulin spikes (and crashes), cause bloating and fatigue...and alot of other things. And don't confuse this with the idea of a low-carb diet. Carbs include grains AND fruit, vegetables, and legumes. We like the latter 3 carb sources. Grains have only been consumed for 500 generations – that is, only since the transition out of the Paleolithic into the Neolithic era approximately 10,000 years ago. They are MODERN (relatively).

Anyway, I'm not an expert. And while I agree, I still drink my Diet Coke everyday (only 7.5 oz) and occassionally we have to splurge on potatoes or pasta. While we do make sandwiches we use whole wheat (with no partially hydr. oil).

That's my soapbox. Try eating this way...it feels great!

words of wisdom...from a MAN.

Had a bit of a meltdown last night.


Lately, I have been sort of melancholy (notice the adjective...I in no way mean depressed) about my life. I feel like this is PRIMETIME in life...full of energy, no kids, lots of time. I feel that so many friends and acquaintances are doing these awesome, adventursome, Kingdom-moving things...selling everything and living in a third world country, working and living overseas, traveling, ministering to the poor/homeless/youth/etc.


I have dreamed of doing BIG things. Dreamed of leaving, going, serving, loving, and impacting. I still dream them. I'm still passionate about it. I know I can't paint and predict what it is exactly going to look like in my life. But lately, I've felt like this dream is nonexistent. I feel like life is in neutral at this point. I'm doing a job that I'm over-qualified for. I haven't gotten involved in any ministries at church or the community b/c I'm waiting to start teacher certification classes and get that done. Basically, I have felt purposeless, outside of our overarching purpose of "Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength" and "go and make disciples of all nations".


Well last night, I came home, and Judge had used number 2 in his kennel. Not only that, it was all over his feet. So I dumped him in the tub, stepping on some of it in the process. I just got really really ANGRY. And I couldn't snap out of feeling lousy after getting everything cleaned up. And I realized that all this had been in the back of my mind and I was mad that it felt like my life was resigned to cleaning up dog poopoo.

So I was explaining my discontent to my dear husband, when he looks at me and says: "sounds to me like you aren't very happy with the size of your garden."

Huh?

He says, "You say you feel ineffective and aren't seeing fruit. Well, how many kids do you see a day on average, one-on-one?" I say "about 9." He says "And one of those kids gave you a valentine saying they love and appreciate you. How often does a teenager say that? Most of my clients don't even know I exist and you influence these kids everyday. Because I know you, I know that you live Christ-like, so you are effective. But it sounds like you just want a bigger garden. You DO have a purpose...and you can't belittle your current garden...it needs to be pruned and cared for. Be faithful in little and....what?...(yes he actually pauses for me to finish this verse)"

"You will be ruler over much"

Sigh. Damn. That's convicting.

Turns out, my life is fine as it is going. It's God's will and all that. My discontent is ME. Wanting what I don't have. (hmmm isn't that coveting? which would be a sin.) It's true. I want the Lord to give me more. But the thing is...that requires more of me. Am I giving more of ME today? Everyday? How much am I sacrificing my comfort/security/time for the Kingdom in the things God has currently entrusted me with?

I am led back to a post by www.benandkatieinhatie.com

He writes:
I kept expecting my change in circumstances to make me into the person I wanted to be and knew I should be. Despite the fact that in nearly every season I just mentioned there was very little personal development.

How true this is of myself. I believe my effectiveness is proportionally related to what my circumstances are. And if God would just give me more, I would be really great. But my effectiveness depends on how much I allow Jesus to change and sanctify me. "He who is faithful in little will be ruler over much."

Jesus, change me. I am so sinful and stupid. Thank you that you save me from myself. Thank you that even in my stupidness, you still let me be a part of your plan.


Ugh. Jesus forgive me. I need me to change.

Coming up...

Life is about to get busy...

-Celebrating my sis's birthday this friday.

-Haircut on saturday.

-Next weekend I go to WACO for Sing.

-My sis is scheduled to have her BABY on the 25th--yipee!!! Just call me "Auntie."

-The 27th, I have my first face to face training for teacher certification (did I ever mention I am getting my certification? turns out I love crazy students about as much as I loved crazy adults...maybe I'm crazy?) from 9-4.

-The 27th, Clint Justice and Kimberly Keller's wedding is in Dallas, that evening.

-The 27th, my neice/nephew will be 2 days old and I will HATE being anywhere but the hospital.

-Every Tuesday and every Saturday from the 27th I will have face to face training. BOO...till April. (but it's ok because then I can be a teacher)

-It's tax season! Which means I'm married to an accounting MACHINE until April 15th. He's such a computational stud. Can't wait for the revelry which will ensue in April!

-Spring break in March...will be spent eating up time with above neice/nephew. And sleeping. Maybe tanning? (if the sun ever decides to visit again) Maybe a visit with some friends? a trip to Waco? who knows.

so there's alot going on. but before we know it, it will be SUMMMMMMEEEERRRR!

Human good.

Just when you are convinced humanity is looking bleak with corruption, immorality, and greed, you see a bit of good.

There is a multi-network, multi-city, multi-nation telethon tonight on all
major networks called Hope for Haiti. Tons of celebs and other public figures. It massages my heart to see GOOD in people. I truly believe that even without a religious moral compass, people still desire to do and be good. And I love that the Good is all those things that Jesus was...kind, compassionate, loving, full of hope...

I promise my next post will be about something other than Haiti. I know there are those out there ready to move on. But this is what has continually been on my heart. I find it a difficult privilege to be broken by this situation...thank you Jesus for softening my heart, even though I hurt.

better.

feeling a bit better.

i feel a little LESS paralyzed knowing that the major need in haiti is medical...and that the airport is having a hard time getting enough doctors and food in, much less just randos (like me) who want to help.

my heart is still compelled to pray. HARD. which is the best i can do. i do know that should opportunities arise in the future, i would like to go there. also, tommy and i have verbalized the possibility of looking into getting disaster relief trained (through Red Cross or other organizations) to be available for future crises.

a friend from Baylor, Katie Wilhoit Kilpatrick, and her husband left to serve in Haiti about a month ago. here is their account from the past week...http://www.benandkatieinhaiti.com/

luckily they are safe, but need LOTS of prayer. they are serving as fully as they are capable and grappling with their future options.

it intrigued me that about 2 weeks ago, katie posted a list of songs that were speaking to her currently. one of those was Shane and Shane's "Embracing Accusation" (go download this song now if you haven't heard it). i feel the message of this song is such truth for this time, in that place. in the midst of such devastation many people ask "how could God let this happen?" unfortunately, there aren't any answers for why bad things happen in this world, why there is disease, hunger, and poverty--except for the fact that we live in a sinful, broken world. Yes we live in darkness...BUT the truth, the final refrain, is that JESUS SAVES. He is LIGHT to the dark, dark realities of this world. it's not because of him there is evil, it's because of him there is HOPE.

Oh the devil’s singing over me

An age old song

That I am cursed and gone astray

Singing the first verse so conveniently

He’s forgotten the refrain

Jesus saves!

on GOING.

For some reason my heart has been rocked by the devastation in Haiti currently. A 7.0 earthquake hit the capital, Port-Au-Prince, yesterday afternoon, the largest earthquake that has hit them in over 200 years. To quote news broadcasts, "the country was ill-prepared for this disaster". An estimated 3 million are estimated to be affected by this quake. Now, genereally my heart would go out in prayer to situations like these, but today my heart is saying GO, GO, GO.

I really have never before had such a compelling desire to go. I want to go be in the dirt and debris with these people. Help them search for loved ones. Sing with them in the street at night (as they have reportedly been doing). I want to tuck little ones in at night, who have no idea where mommy or daddy might be.

I want to hug this woman, and weep with her for the plight of her country.

As I have searched the internet for "ways to help," the overwhelming option is monetary aid. Why? I hate feeling constrained. It has compelled me to ask myself "why am I not ready to go?" There are so many options out there...placing yourself on disaster relief volunteer databases, being a part of Salvation Army and other relief organizations, even if by association. But I'm not. Therefore, I'm not ready. And it pains me. I am ashamed that when the Spirit compels me, I am constrained by my options. Maybe, by a miracle of God, my church will announce a team that will organize for this purpose. Or maybe, I will get up the guts to really consider making this heart cry a reality and proactively seek some information. Right now, that seems scary. Just being honest.

Pray for Haiti. And if you can, GO.

a little message...

Remember in college dorm days, it was the cool thing to have a dry erase board on your door? And people would leave little messages like, "Alli is da bomb" or "dinner in Collins at 6?" (or the random boy from Penland would go around and write profanity on everyone's boards)

Well, sometimes I wish people had these little message boards on their front doors. And as I'm walking my dog past I could jot down little encouraging messages like "pretty wreath" or "your dog is cute" or "don't forget to pay the rent!"

And to our upstairs neighbors, "um, please stop having really loud sex at 3 am. thanks."